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“My 21 Year Old Autistic Son’s Heart Attack- Better Services needed for Adults with Autism

A week ago today my twenty one year old son with Autism and Intellectual Disability was undergoing an Angiogram.  This started when he complained of headaches three days prior.  I gave him over the counter headache medication.  By Friday evening, when I arrived home from picking up my youngest son from school and asked his sister where he was, she said he came in from the school bus and immediately went to bed because was not feeling well.  I called his Primary Care Physician and asked for an appointment and was told they did not have an opening.  So I took him to Urgent Care and he was seen by a Physician’s Assistant.  Habitually, I plan medical appointments with great care because I take extraordinary steps educate their doctor’s about their diagnosis and the best way to communicate with my children.  The hurdle I try to avoid is having my kids meet new doctors.  When we are seeing someone new there is always the possibility that we may run into some challenges because if his Autism diagnosis.  Such was the case with this new Physician’s Assistant.  So at 4:00 PM that evening, I was asking this increasingly annoyed PA to please check the sinuses and please order a head x-ray because all of my son’s stats were normal and he could not articulate the other symptoms he was feeling.  I knew he was not well.  The seemingly frustrated PA eventually wrote two prescriptions and sent us on our way.

I was not entirely convinced that my son’s issues were cleared up by that visit and during a conversation with my brother I mentioned just that feeling.  My brother responded, “Make sure you check up on him during the night and shake his body to see if he is OK.”  About 2:00 AM I heard my son pacing and went to him asking how he was feeling.  He replied, “My heart is pounding.”  I took his blood pressure which turned out to be 120/79 and his pulse was 77.  I told him to get dressed and I will take him to the ER.  We went to CHOC’s because they have a nifty Autism Center and I thought they might be able to communicate with my son and get to the bottom of his symptoms.  I explained to the intake folks that he said his heart was pounding but even though his blood pressure and and pulse seems fine I did not like his seeming discomfiture and asked if they could look at his heart.  The very kind and gentle Team checked in my son and got him to an EKG machine in less than five minutes.  The Tech first mumbled to himself that it must be a mechanical error and re-did the test.  He left the room for a quick second, returned and summoned us over to another room where about ten people were waiting for us.  They hooked him up to machines and poked and prodded asked me to sign some forms and in less than a couple minutes we were transferred over to St. Joseph Hospital where I was told his symptoms were calling for adult care and the team at St. Joseph were equipped to treat my son.

Several men literally rushed him across the street and up a ramp in a hospital bed, into the ER of St. Joseph with me running behind them with a couple plastic bags containing his clothing, shoes and other items, struggling to keep up with the commotion at 3:30 AM.  Even more people dressed in a variety of scrubs in a brightly lit room with a huge contraption at center mass, were waiting for us as my son got hooked up to the machine; an IV bag started in one arm and blood drawn from another.  I was standing right outside the room trying my best to respond to a woman asking me pertinent admitting information while deciphering what was being done with my son in the next room.  Eventually I was called into the room with my son and asked several questions like, “When did his pain begin”?  I was responding while trying to take it all in…  Watching my beautiful boy giving everyone that great big smile and trying to answer their questions.  “What kind if pain is it?  Sharp, or does it feel like something pressing down on your chest?”  I eventually suggested to them to move on because he had no clue what they are asking… One woman informed me that they did an EKG both at CHOC and St. Joseph and the result was showing a problem.  She went on to say that the Tripoin levels from my son’s test show a 12 and normal level is 0.45.  She also explained that the oxygen level in the blood is at 50% and less than 55% is problematic. They would accept 75% and normal range is 95% to 100%.  I am nodding as if I understood exactly what she was telling me.  Then a man came forward and said. “Ma’am your son is having a heart attack.”  Well, that I understood…

Without missing beat I calmly asked, “OK, what next?”  A woman urgently rushed me into a corner to sign more consent forms and answer questions about family history, religion and living trust.   I stepped aside briefly and called the important people in our life and asked for prayers.  Next we were on the move, along with the team and my numerous plastic bags, which were thrust into my arms by a couple individuals.

A  doctor stating how rare it is for them to see a seemingly healthy 21 year old male having a heart attack, wanted to know if he takes steroids or any other stimulants.   I replied, “To my knowledge, no.”  I explained that would be very unlikely given the supports he has in place in his life. We were rushed down a very long hallway toward the operating room, everyone trotting and a lead nurse explaining to me that there will be a procedure whereby they will try to determine the extent of the damage and the doctor continuing to ask questions.  Then I was abruptly told to wait in a room with chairs and a TV tuned in to a sports channel and my son was being whisked off.  I asked them to stop and asked if I can go in with him and they said no.  So I told them I needed a minute to prime him.  He was looking confused and scared so I did my best to reassure him; explain to him what was about to happen and told him he has to be a “big man” and be brave while they examined his body to find out why his heart is pounding.  And fix it!

About ten minutes later I was asked to come into the operating room and given some head attire to wear in there.  My son was not cooperating.  He needed to urinate in a container while lying down on the bed with stuff hooked up to his arms and he told them he would not.  The head nurse asked me to make him pee because they needed that before the procedure and they would not allow him to stand up right now.  I took one look at my son and knew he was not having it!  He was ready to elope…  and he would carry that entire contraption with him.  I informed the nurse that they were asking an Autistic man who is ritualized, who has made pee standing up his entire life, to urinate laying down in a room full of strangers hooked up to machines, who is currently highly anxious because something entirely new and awfully scary is happening to him…   I suggested that they get him up off that bed if they wanted his urine.  That would be the simplest and most effective solution here.   As soon as he stood up my son almost filled that huge container.

The Cardiologist who had now arrived on scene, asked me about his history and was yet another person commenting on how unusual it was for a seemingly healthy twenty one year old to be having heart attack but they have to follow the test results.  He informed me that my son was given EKG’s at both CHOC and St. Joseph’s and his enzyme test was repeated and the numbers were consistent.  I asked him what exactly was he going to do to my son and he explained the procedure and said they would insert a stent where they found blockage. The procedure should take about ninety minutes.  He asked for hints to help him communicate with my son.  I explained that priming is best.  When they are administering anesthesia, to tell him for instance, “You will feel a cold gel and we will rub this cotton ball here on your arms, etc.”  If he says no to something to stop and give him time if they can, to adjust…  So I was sent back to the waiting room to wrestle with thoughts of the chicken tenders and french fries my son ate for his entire life and images of blockage in his heart vessels because of that!  I contemplated the fragility of life and my Mom’s recent passing two months ago.  I was engulfed with fear but also with an overwhelming determination to be strong for my son and immediately learn ways to help him adjust to his new life, what ever that would be.  I glanced at the three plastic bags on the floor and mused at the absurdity of the value seemingly placed on their contents at a time like this.  “Ma’am, make sure to take your bags with you…”  I pulled out the rosary beads and began to pray.

I’d set the timer on my cell phone for ninety minutes and was startled thirty minutes later when the Cardiologist returned to the waiting room.  However, he seemed pretty calm.  He explained that there was no blockage, my son’s vessels were strong and my son’s heart was in “excellent” condition for a 21 year old male.  As soon as I heard that I burst out in tears.  He paused to have me collect myself but I quickly wiped my eyes and told him to continue, while I pulled out my phone to take notes.  I told him I am sure he has a busy schedule that I am overwhelmingly relieved and grateful.  He continued to tell me that my son did not have a heart attack in a traditional sense but the walls of his pericardium are inflamed and his oxygen levels are low.  The inflammation is caused by a viral infection and he needs to be hospitalized.

My son remained hospitalized for three more days.  I remained with my son around the clock during his entire hospitalization.  I translated both for him and the caregivers and kept his anxiety level down during his stay.   According to the Cardiologist, the virus causing the Pericarditis takes three weeks to be healed so we will return for more testing at that time.  Now at home and currently taking several heart medications, he is not as yet out of the woods.  In the meantime, he has modified activities while his routines remain the same.  Everyone caring for him during his hospital stay found out how important my son’s routines were.  He would be anxious without his routine so that will remain intact because we do not want any additional stress on his heart.

Naturally after such an event one reflects… I am no exception.  One of the first things I thought about was how fortunate we are with the programs we are now running for my son.  I believe without a doubt that his current ABA Program saved my son’s life.  Just a few months ago he started a program that taught him abstract concepts such as inner feelings and time lapse.  We developed this goal due to a social misstep he took at school because he was totally unaware of the ramifications.  We have a brilliant ABA Therapy Program Supervisor, Theresa Bartholomew who is supporting all my kiddos at home.  Her gift is dissecting the needs of children on the autism spectrum, whether they are two or twenty two years old, then writing a program and goals with an outcome of achievement and success.  Theresa is an outside the box, thinker… A make-a-way, find-a-way problem solver.  She is an ABA Master Strategist.  It is truly a pleasure working with her because my children have all benefited from our collaboration.  Without disclosing her protocols, she oversaw the program where my son was  taught about the idea of pain.  He was taught the label “headache” and what it means, where you feel it and what you should do about it when you experience it.  There are a variety of tools, from photos to technology, utilized to teach him these concepts.  But her talented scripts are simply masterful.  When I think of her approach to the application of ABA Therapy I often think, “This ain’t your Mama’s ABA!”  Teaching a young man with Intellectual Disability these concepts requires repetition, time and patience.  However what I know to be true is my son has and continues to develop.  +It has been proven time and again that he is capable of learning and he’s shown us that he loves the feeling of achievement.  From the age of three, my son has been taught many of these behavioral social and life skills through Pivotal Response Therapy and Applied Behavior Therapy.  During the past six years, Theresa has been a part of giving him top notch ABA support.  I thought of her when I was in that hospital room watching my son laying down on that bed just out of sorts for the first twenty-four hours.  I also thought of how many times I have had to battle to ensure he received the support he needed because so often the preference from funding agencies is to have a cookie cutter approach for programs and just pass them along to all clients in need of service.

It seems to me that for a long time, the primary focus in treatment was on Early Intervention; of which I am huge proponent.  I’m very encouraged by every effort in research and opportunities that have been made available for our young kiddos.  What I a finding as my kids age, is there was not much forethought given to what would happen when our kids grew up.  That is evidenced by the sparse number of opportunities available to them at their current ages of twenty one and twenty three.  Then, in addition it seems to me that there is an assumption that somehow at the age of twenty-one or twenty-two substantive growth and development ceases and simply placing individuals on the autism spectrum in a day or work program of sorts, is the answer to the rest of their lives.  What I’d like to offer, having two adult children with autism spectrum disorder is that they certainly can still very much grow and develop.  Time and again my children ages eight to twenty-three, have proven that the slow, steady and repetitive approach to learning has been resoundingly successful.

I am certain if I had accepted the status quo; was not proactive in meeting what I felt he needed and working with such a talented team, we would not have been teaching my son abstract concepts.  Additionally, we certainly would not have received funding from The Regional Center for such program.  Regional Centers do great work but are limited to certain criteria.  This particular program for my son was funded through his insurance.

What I know for certain is that funding organizations such as The Regional Center need to offer access to effective Adult Services.  These programs must serve the entire person.   Individuals on the Autism Spectrum deserve the dignity of complete care.  As I have stated before, these skills must be taught for a lifetime… not just a few weeks here and there.

Here are some ideas that come to mind for needed services for our Adult children,  from a couple Swanky Moms:

  • Assessment Tools: There are not many assessment tools available for adults with Autism to gauge where they are developmentally in many areas, so that substantive programs and goals can be created.  +As our children get older their needs change and skills development in their varied areas of need are required.  That would allow them to learn how to utilize these skills and apply them to life.  Much as my son did when he told us about his headache.   At twenty-two, much like the rest of us, life is just beginning for many individuals on the autism spectrum. They need to be taught differently to navigate life as adults.
  • Skills Training: Public Speaking, Special Community Projects
  • Job Training: Career exploration and training.  Matching skills and interest with job
  • Health Training: Body Awareness, Communicating Medical Needs
  • Emotional/Psychological Tools:  Stress Management, Coping Skills for Intense Emotions, Self Care, Mindfulness
  • Safety Training: Getting around in the Community
  • Physical Fitness Training: Modified Fitness Activities for Special Needs
  • Social Skills Training: Proven Evidenced Based such as PEERS
  • Sexual Education Training: 
  • Self Advocacy: Learning to establish boundaries

Having two adults on the Autism Spectrum I constantly wonder what full adulthood will look like for each of them.  Then I try to ensure that my children have access to programs that will create a road-map and path to a successful adulthood.  For me, that includes every aspect of their lives.  Many of you have read my blogs or heard me say, “Raise the adult, not the child.”  It has been my motto when it comes to obtaining services and developing programs for my children.  I realized long ago that they needed repetitive skills training in order to develop and master the habit of “spontaneously” accessing a skill when needed.  My son has Intellectual Disability so naturally, navigating success is quite a process.   My daughter who is extremely highly functioning, for entirely different reasons needs similar supports sustained over a long period of time, due to her inattention and distractibility; which makes her vulnerable to failure.  There are very little mechanisms in place that allow for a second or third or fourth attempt to catch that moving bus or train, take an exam or perform the task assigned to you on a job.  I also realized that they needed a visual  road map… that is why I’ve provided them with social stories in every step of their journey.  Individuals on the autism spectrum need to routinely and methodically, for the rest of their life, be given the opportunity to visually reference matters pertaining to life skills, health, safety and job tasks (if they are employed) for ongoing that describes a head ache is an important

According to Dr. Sharyn Kerr, Autism and Behavior Expert:  “Self-advocacy is an important skill to teach children, but for children and adults with autism, it can be a matter of life and death. The ability to communicate one’s thoughts and feelings, one’s desires and needs, is challenging for individuals with autism who may struggle to communicate abstract concepts and understand what options and supports are available. If an individual with autism who feels unwell is unable to communicate their physical symptoms and request medical help, their physical well-being is at risk.”

What I know for certain is when substantive Adult Programs and Services were developed for individuals with Autism, not only would it be transformative, but also empowering and enable them to live richer lives.  It may even save a life!

I urge you to keep this conversation going.  On behalf of all our adults on the spectrum, let’s continue speaking up!

Hitting Hurts Others – Books with Behavior Strategies

A Social Story Book that offers behavior strategies…  by Nellie Valentine

Many parents struggle with their children when they are exhibiting maladaptive behavior.  Children with Autism Spectrum Disorder or ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder) often have a difficult time coping with rules regarding socialization and behavior.  We learn social rules, guidelines, etiquette, laws and even taboos from childhood through adulthood.  We are taught these rules by parents, teachers, peers and others in various ways, in order to shape the way we interact with others.  Over time we learn to intuitively access these rules in any particular situation to successfully engage with others.

“Many of our social rules make no sense to individuals with ASD and our behaviors in certain situations may seem perplexing or sometimes frightening to them.  In addition, we work out our social problems quickly and intuitively while individuals with ASD do this through logic and deduction, which involves a different part of the brain.”  – Sharyn Kerr – PhD

Social Stories are a wonderful way of relaying a message to all children!  Swanky Brain Social Story Books give children with Autism, ADHD & other neurodevelopmental disorders a new perspective on a behavior, action or event.  Our books help change behavior patterns and reinforce social skills. As the Author, I  believe our language resonates with readers, who find the books engaging.  They have simple suggestions and perspective shifting dialogue to which our readers can relate.  Having four children on the Spectrum has helped me create language and communication that is effective with my kiddos and I transfer them to my books!

In our Social Stories Book series, we encapsulate events; situations with words and vivid illustrations, while infusing behavior strategies. This is a concrete way to shape perspective, bolster appropriate behavior, reinforce social skills, planning and organizing. Throughout the years, I have found that using Social Stories independently or as a part of a behavior plan; has been tremendously impactful and effective for my children!  Additionally, I believe that Social Stories make a profound difference as repeated reading increases comprehension and allows for sustainability of a changed or new behavior or habit.

Making Summer Fun! Dancing to “Despacito” brings Joy!

Having four kiddos on the Autism Spectrum can make life challenging.  However with the supports in place in our home, my kiddos are truly learning balance and how to have FUN!  When I am taking the kids out and about, my oldest tunes into the pop music station and seemingly every 20 minutes we are hearing this Summer’s hit song “Despacito.”  Everyone starts singing and boogying in the car.  At that time I am truly grateful for three things:

1) My kiddos have no idea of the translation of the lyrics to the song.
2) We are ALL tone deaf!  Yikes… No judgement here… 🙂
3) I am witnessing this spectacular event!

Additionally, we also have “Dance Parties” at home where we jam to songs like the current summer hit, “Despacito”; having some small intermittent moments of fun and pure hilarity!  This has been quite the evolution…

Some things I keep in mind when supporting my kiddos:

  1. Individuality: They are each on different parts of the spectrum.  Happiness is defined differently for each.  So there is no comparison made.  I encourage each child to be themselves and find comfort and contentment in their individuality.  To love who they are!
  2. Tolerance: Sometimes a child may be having a bad day.  So he then expects the world to stop and everyone else in the family to be droopy and in the doldrums.  It’s difficult and a tall task helping the other kiddos keep their sibling’s feelings in perspective.  Have empathy for their sibling while remaining focused on their goals, tasks and state of mind for the day. Not perseverate and become so drawn into that situation that the feelings permeate.  We work hard as a family with Autism not to allow the crossover behaviors.
  3. Happiness: Sometimes kiddos with Autism and ADHD are rigid and do not transition well.  So an impromptu “dance party” may not sit well with them.  I constantly weave fun into various aspects of their day or planned activities.

How New Habits & Behavior Can Form

A Creative Mind… And an opportunity to reinforce skills.

My seven year old with ASD keeps reinventing his world!  He recently took all his shoes out of the closet and decided to place them in his golf cart and another bin in his bedroom; boldly declaring:  “This is where I will keep all my shoes from now on!”   I looked at his adorable face and gave him props for his creativity and celebrated his ingenuity.  I took pictures of him with his new golf-cart-shoes-bin and left him playing with it for the remainder of the afternoon.

Then, when it was time to clean up his bedroom before supper, I asked him to put all his shoes back in the closet, gently responding to every mild protest he was giving.

Why did I do that?  I am always mindful of habits forming for all four of my children on the spectrum.  Sometimes, habits are created out of boredom.  Other times my kiddos want to be in control and begin a behavior to self-soothe or assuage anxiety.  Whatever the reason, one thing is for certain…  Kiddos with an ASD diagnosis can form and latch on to a new habit in a heartbeat.  That comes naturally to them and it feels right.  Then another symptom of Autism presents itself…  Rigidity.   When rigidity sets in, it is oftentimes partnered with combativeness and tantrum behavior.  By that time, it becomes very difficult and sometimes almost impossible to make them change that habit or behavior.  Behavior Intervention strategies have to be implemented to help revert the habit or situation.  Since my twenty years of experience make me all too aware of how quickly new habits are formed, when I see it in the making, I immediately and reflexively stop and ask myself:  Where will this habit lead us in two weeks, one month, one year?

In the case of the “Golf Cart Shoe Bin” I imagined a day when we were running late for school because we could not find a shoe. Then the situation escalating into a full blown tantrum, when I insisted that he wore another non-preferred pair.  Ultimately, not only would my son be late, but so would everyone else; which would result in feelings of resentment, long faces, with that knowing glare through the rear-view mirror conveying hurt feelings all the way around.

Having four children with ASD upset in a car ride on the way to school is not a pleasant experience!  When I weighed that scenario versus talking him out of the golf-cart-shoe-bin, it was an easy choice.  However, there is more to the matter…  It was teaching my son how to transition back and forth with more ease.  It was also teaching him that some things must remain the way they are for functionality.  He was being taught that he can be creative and have some fun in his bedroom.  Some things can remain the way he created them, others must return to their place, to the order they were in.  Finally, those neural pathways were busy at work adjusting and changing to help him acquire and maintain new skills.  It may have been a tad inconvenient addressing that matter at the end of a long day and having my son return his shoes to the closet.  When considering all the possible outcomes… it was worth doing to prevent him forming a new habit or behavior that ultimately would not work.


Applied Behavior Analysis (ABA) for Adults

Here’s a note from a Mom whose son is receiving Applied Behavior Analysis (ABA) for adults…

I am so grateful for Adult ABA. My son is now in his 20’s living with a diagnosis of Autism.  When he was younger it was not offered to us.  I had to wait until he was in High School to receive ABA.  At times I am envious of other families who receive ABA when their children are toddlers, wish we were that lucky.  My mind wonders how much more advanced my son would be if he had received the services at such a young age.  My son is what they used to refer to as “Asperger’s” or “High Functioning.”  Looking at his picture, you cannot not tell that he has a disability, it’s a hidden disability.  He struggles with food/textures, time management, social interactions/developing relationships and the big time waster he loves gaming.

Applied Behavior Analysis for Adults has been a godsend for my son; it has been a game changer.  ABA does not cure autism but it teaches him skills, as result of Adult ABA he is building a foundation; a building block to independence.  He is learning how to navigate this complex world we live in.  My greatest fear is that if something happens to me, what will happen to my son?  Who will care for my son?  So I fight, I push him to keep going forward, he wants to gain skills but at times he becomes complacent.  I advocate for the appropriate services that ensure my son receives the skills so he can become the best version of himself.  It can be challenging because he is a young adult, but he still has not developed the age appropriate skills.  He needs to be taught these skills.

My son holds a steady part-time job and is now in College pursuing an education for the career he loves.  I know that there are many families out there that have young adult children that did not receive ABA when they were minors and now the family is facing many challenges, I strongly encourage you to utilize the therapeutic intervention of Adult ABA. It’s never too late for our young adults!

We love to hear these stories about how our young adults can benefit from Applied Behavior Analysis.  Learn more about ABA here.

Social Story Books by Swanky Brain

Why Social Stories Work…

Why do they work?  Here are a couple reasons:  Children on the spectrum are visual learners; so a Social Story with vibrant supporting pictures immediately resonates.  Just as important is the choice of words used in the story. Also, all children retain information when it is repeated to them. So, when a Social Story is read repeatedly, it gives children an opportunity to process the positive messages.  This allow for a shift in perspective. Then, it becomes easier to take those messages and make them applicable to real life situations.

Please preview sample pages of our books at the attached link:




Josh’s Boredom Box

Winter School Break has begun…  I’d decided to spend the holidays at home relaxing, for a much needed r&r with my family. That’s before I realized that we have 3 weeks vacation!  Yikes!!!  Naturally, the dreaded “B” word was spoken in hour two – 9:00 AM – of day one of our stay-ca… Josh, my Tweener declared,  “Mom, I’m boooooored!!”   Next was the incessant, “Can I watch TV?”… and the invariable tantrum, taunting his siblings, whining, you name it!

Thank goodness Abby, Case Manager extraordinaire from ACES paid us a visit that afternoon.  After listening to me vent about the situation, she said – “Let’s help him make a Boredom Box before I leave.”

So… that we did!  We pulled many items, ranging from his many Lego pieces, to a Chess game. When an item was too large, he wrote the name on a sheet of paper. He also wrote the words “Use My Imagination” on a blank page and placed everything inside a box. He named the box his “B Box” and was placed in charge of decorating it.  With her experience and expertise, Abby coached Josh through pulling items from his bedroom to place in his box as well as writing a note for reference during times of boredom.  She used great imagery with perspective shaping, painting a picture of Mom’s “bubble” of thoughts and feelings when he was nagging because of boredom.  She made him feel excited about navigating his world independently.  She was encouraging and supportive.  Josh was fully on board!
Joshua wrote:  “My “B” Box.  I will occupy myself without asking Mom for TV.  I will use my “B” Box when I have finished all my normal tasks and feel bored.  I won’t bug Mom and ask for TV.

P.S. I have the most amazing imagination in the universe… So I will use it with my “B” Box!”

Today was day one of Josh using his “B” Box. I checked in on him a couple times; served his meals.  Josh totally self-manged today.  He did not nag me once!  So far.. so good!

So…  Here’s to the “The “B” Box!  … And Abby!

PS…If you have not heard of it before, or need a refresher on the idea, google “Boredom Box” and you will find loads of images and ideas.

The Wand of Silence!

A Way To Experience Moments Of Peace And Quiet…

There are moments in your day or week or month when life gets overwhelming and you simply need time to yourself!  In those moments, an effective tool I’d like to suggest you utilize to achieve that goal, is the “Wand of Silence”.  Visual tools are very effective for kiddos on the spectrum.  You can create something similar for your home and call it whatever you like.

Here is how it works:

  1. Create your “Wand of Silence”.
  2. Have a Family Meeting show them the “Wand ” and explain to your kiddos that there are times when you need a break and you will ask for their support.
  3.  Explain to everyone… From Teenager to Toddler – and even Dad, if you must – exactly what will happen.  That you will hand them the “Wand” and that means total silence and quiet movements in their own space – bedroom or play area – until you come and take it back from them.  You may even want to write a Social Story to reinforce this idea to the kiddos.
  4. You may also need to explain to some kids who are literal in thinking, that they can come to you in an emergency and explain what that is in your home.
  5. Finally, after your five, ten, or thirty minutes of “silence” retrieve the “Wand”.  Remember to take a minute to praise heavily and show some appreciation to your children for their consideration.

For the best results, I’d recommend that you begin with very small increments of time, then build upon that.  I’d also recommend that you begin with no more than one break a week.  Remember, this should be used at times when you are in high stress.  It is not to be used for daily breaks or it will lose its effectiveness.  

Happy “Silence” & Peace!